Days of mourning

(from 28th of August to 17th of September)

My mourning has not been finished and it will never be.

How can I commemorate her life?

How can I express my deepest gratitude towards her?

How can I express my loss?

Her traditional garland for the funeral

Her traditional garland for the funeral

A beautiful tribute.

A beautiful tribute.

It feels so awkwardly strange and empty to be left in the world without her.

I have been trying to think of her life rather than feeling sorry to myself.

I can feel her pride for the numerous achievements in her life as a biologist before I was born. I can feel her struggle, worries and passion to go through all the years of drastic change in Korean history. I can feel her enlarged and unconditional love only towards me in her life under a big family she got with marriage. I can feel her sadness and loneliness to say good bye to me who moved to Australia with over 8000 km distance. I can feel her sympathy and atonement so that in the end gratitude towards the one who has looked after her.

I can feel all of them because I am her one and only daughter.

Below is the first brooch I made and gave to her almost 20 years ago.

Brooch(2000) copper, ivory, steel, silver

Brooch(2000) copper, ivory, steel, silver

어머니의 극락왕생을 기원합니다. 당신의 키워주신 은혜는 하해와 같습니다. “다음 생에는 중생의 삶이 아니라 세상에 빛이 되는 보살의 삶으로 다시 오소서.” I pray for mum that she will live eternally in Paradise. The grace you have raised me is like the river and the ocean. “Please come back as a Bodhisattva who will be the light in the world.”