(from 28th of August to 17th of September)
My mourning has not been finished and it will never be.
How can I commemorate her life?
How can I express my deepest gratitude towards her?
How can I express my loss?
It feels so awkwardly strange and empty to be left in the world without her.
I have been trying to think of her life rather than feeling sorry to myself.
I can feel her pride for the numerous achievements in her life as a biologist before I was born. I can feel her struggle, worries and passion to go through all the years of drastic change in Korean history. I can feel her enlarged and unconditional love only towards me in her life under a big family she got with marriage. I can feel her sadness and loneliness to say good bye to me who moved to Australia with over 8000 km distance. I can feel her sympathy and atonement so that in the end gratitude towards the one who has looked after her.
I can feel all of them because I am her one and only daughter.
Below is the first brooch I made and gave to her almost 20 years ago.
어머니의 극락왕생을 기원합니다. 당신의 키워주신 은혜는 하해와 같습니다. “다음 생에는 중생의 삶이 아니라 세상에 빛이 되는 보살의 삶으로 다시 오소서.” I pray for mum that she will live eternally in Paradise. The grace you have raised me is like the river and the ocean. “Please come back as a Bodhisattva who will be the light in the world.”